Conversations In The Garden: On Finding My Power


Message from the Council of 13 Indigenous Grandmothers:

“As you move through these changing times… be easy on yourself and be easy on one another. You are at the beginning of something new. You are learning a new way of being. You will find that you are working less in the yang modes that you are used to.

You will stop working so hard at getting from point A to point B the way you have in the past, but instead, will spend more time experiencing yourself in the whole, and your place in it.

Instead of traveling to a goal out there, you will voyage deeper into yourself. Your mother’s grandmother knew how to do this. Your ancestors from long ago knew how to do this. They knew the power of the feminine principle… and because you carry their DNA in your body, this wisdom and this way of being is within you.

Call on it. Call it up. Invite your ancestors in. As the yang based habits and the decaying institutions on our planet begin to crumble, look up. A breeze is stirring. Feel the sun on your wings.”




With spring rapidly approaching, I feel the pull of my garden.  It sings sweet, soft songs to me.  A welcome back to the land.  To the rebirth, and growing of all things green.  It is a cherished time….a reunion of the soul with the soil.  A time to plant seeds and watch them come to life.



And it is a time when I feel I have recouped my power.  I am stronger, clear-headed and DSCN9053more balanced once spring comes.  I have been working on this balance for a long time.  Ever since I entered the world of administration, from teaching, I found myself in an unfamiliar world.  A place foreign where I just did not feel at home.



I was always in battle…..feeling like I had to have my guard up.  Thrust into a more outgoing, aggressive atmosphere.  A place that was most uncomfortable, especially for this sensitive introvert.  But I felt I was learning, and I could be me once I learned to navigate in this new place.



Fifteen years later, I retired from this battle-weary life.  This world of tension, and constant action.  I had become ill from the unyielding stress.  And I knew I had to leave, or I would literally die.  I thought of my exit as retreating, giving up, and that I was just not strong enough to make it in this world of work I had chosen.



DSCN9030And this defeat has preyed on my mind for 2 years, until recently I was given a life line in a letter I received from a most generous and precious soul, Sandra Pawula.  I have talked about Sandra’s wonderful Joyful Wisdom Guide’s before.  They are thoughtful, poignant and so very helpful.  Although I had no idea how life changing they would be, until she sent me the one on balancing the masculine and feminine.



Once I read more, and understood this balance between the Yin and Yang, it was clear I had made the right choice in my exit.  The battle had been fought in my old life, and I had given myself over to a life of continual action….more, more, more….running from pillar to post….the masculine side in which my career was steeped.  I had given up fighting for my feminine side….where I had been relying more on my intuition, receptivity…..which had served me well when I allowed this side to flourish.



Now instead, for these past 2 years, I have yielded to this inner struggle of the Yin and DSCN9046Yang; the masculine and feminine.  Now instead, I have given myself over to this introverted woman.  Cocooned her, nourished her and allowed her to live….to speak to me.  I let my fears come alive, and faced them learning the messages they held.  The lessons I was destined to learn.  To embrace the less perfect me.  The softer side where things are messy.  Where I have faced my vulnerabilities and give them voice.



I have rested much in this time of refueling.  Living in my garden.  Watching, complacent in the knowledge that I must let it all be for now.  Let nature take hold and give it what it needs….what I need to rekindle.  Healthy food, water, rest, simple exercise.  And now I know the winds are changing for me.  As I learn to use the Yin of me.



And as the Indigenous Grandmothers pointed out, this new journey is not toward a goal, but a journey within.  I feel their words deeply knowing ‘in my gut’ that this is how it MUST be for me, and for humanity now.  To embrace my feminine side, as she softly calls to me, when the moon rises and I lay awake hearing the inner voices of wisdom speak.  Feeling what it means to be in the flow.



DSCN9049Where is this all going?  What lies in store?  I do not know.  I just know I will follow the voice of this woman; her wisdom water.…a slow meandering creek where she makes her way, and carves her path.  I will follow-up here, as lessons unfold, and issues crop up.  As life takes hold, and I finally soar in the sun with my own strong wings supporting me.




Have you felt this pull to embrace your feminine side….to connect with your intuition?  What new lessons are you learning?







Special Note:  The pictures here are of pink flowers from my indoor garden (Amaryllis or Hippeastrum throughout the body of the post), and outdoor garden (Lily-of-the-Valley at the top of the post, and Hellebores at the bottom).  Pink represents the feminine side, friendship, affection, harmony, inner peace and tenderness.  It is the color of love of oneself and of others.  A perfect color for this post.




I leave you with a few additional words On Finding My Power.  I welcome you to download this photo and share it.


All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2016.  Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.

21 Replies to “Conversations In The Garden: On Finding My Power”

  1. My introspective self, like my inner child are the healthiest and happiest parts of me.
    Which I need to remember.
    Cherish the quiet, because growth is quiet. Savour the fun. And sometimes doing nothing is the very best thing of all.

    1. That is such a treasure Soosie…I have been quietly recapturing the truest parts of me, and having fun too! Thank you for your inspiration my friend.

  2. Hi Donna, This may be the loveliest and most powerful thing I’ve ever read from you and I’m so very grateful. Your message of the strong feminine comes at the right time for me. This is the journey I’m on now too. May we walk it together in spirit. Thank you, Susie

    1. I don’t think I have felt anything so strong in a long time Susie. I feel it to my core that this path is important for me and the world right now. And what a joy to hear you are walking it with me too my dear friend….I will keep you with me, and send many hugs your way.

  3. So beautiful written, Donna. As a former administrator, I could so relate. That position was not a good defeat for me, but I was doing it for a good purpose so it was hard to let go. But once I did, I could begin to find what really worked for me. I was lead to writing, which had been a childhood dream.

    Yes, I’m very called to allow my feminine, intuitive side to emerge. At the same time, it’s interesting as my tarot cards in my daily guidance draw are often (or at least a good part of the time), yang oriented in the form of self-protection, determination or will. So I see how important it is the balance the two. But since they’ve been out of balance for so long, I think it would behoove almost all of us to cultivate our feminine side more.

    1. I am so glad you liked the post Sandra….I agree that things have been out of balance for so long that it is good to cultivate our feminine side. But still working on balancing the two.

  4. Big sigh…this post is perfect timing for me…on many levels and I’m sure it is also for many others. I love this line, “.a reunion of the soul with the soil.” So beautiful. There’s such wisdom flowing through this post and it is serendipitous for me, especially the yin yang and the balance. It has felt harsh, this shift from end of winter into spring…mind, body and spirit…there seems to be too much motion all of a sudden or still…? I don’t know. Thank you, Donna, for this one slowed down now to contemplate meaningful things.

  5. When I first encountered feminism in my twenties, I was very invested in proving that I was as good as the guys. I remember claiming that I “didn’t have an intuitive bone in my body.” Then, at a party of young married couples one weekend, where I was (as usual) hanging out with the men in the living room and avoiding the congregation of wives in the kitchen, it suddenly occurred to me that a conversation about the price of stocks in the stock market was not inherently more interesting than a conversation about the price of eggs in the supermarket; we’d just been taught that one subject was more important than the other. That moment of insight was a turning point for me in claiming my feminine side. Fortunately, the message was reinforced by a career teaching women’s studies, where the lesson to always question and challenge the devaluation of the feminine was front and center. I realize now how much easier this understanding made my life.

    1. It is sad that so much of feminism was poo pooed when I was growing up. We had to dismiss our intuitive side and that was still the case more when I was in administration than in teaching. How I wish there had been more women’s studies when i was in college. Maybe it needs to be mandatory for all.

  6. The entire posting speaks to me…but it was the words…”this new journey is not toward a goal, but a journey within….” Oh how those words really resonate! Thank you and I so look forward to following along on your journey!

  7. Beautifully said. I really like the yin yang symbol. For me it says: balance. A bit like a perpetual motion machine — always in motion. And I like how the inclusion of those little dots on each side means that at the core we all share something with the ‘other.’ As I was growing up I felt the same pressure to abandon the feminine — that to be a ‘strong’ person meant to be more like a man. Over time I came to realize that feminine energies and values are what make us strong. It is patriarchy that makes us all — men and women — weak.

  8. Like Robin the words ‘the journey within’ speak to me… Our journey is to discover ourselves and that leads us to the higher being and peace 🙂

  9. I made my way here from Robin’s post about aging, after she commented on my post about aging… it’s a topic that seems to be on our minds. You voiced my own thoughts to a T. I have been battling that feeling that if I don’t find a way to retire early, my job is going to kill me and there will be nothing left to retire — only to bury. Probably a bit over the top, but it’s the feeling. I’m still trying to figure out what is riskier, not knowing if I have enough money to live the rest of my life on? Or shortening my life with stress, unfulfillment, and depression. Balance… there has to be a better way.

    1. It was a hard decision for me to retire even though I knew I would have to cut back expenses severely….but I knew if I didn’t I would not live to enjoy my retirement in a few years. Now 2 years retired, I am exploring other ways to earn some money in the future while still getting healthy…I know eventually things will work out so we have enough money to live on….I wish you luck Maery!

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