In late November, while walking at dusk with the moon rising, my husband and I witnessed thousands of geese migrating over us….we lost count at 30 groups, moving higher and higher as they sang their glorious song of farewell. This poem was created on that walk. I will be taking a hiatus from blogging for a few weeks to devote time to enjoying the season without the rush. I’ll see you after the New Year.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog.
I leave you with a few additional words about the Kiss the Sky. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2018. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
I am thrilled to be back blogging and writing again. It has been over 4 months, and I am feeling healed and much better. I aggravated an old back injury, had vertigo and then blood pressure issues (not related to the vertigo).
I started this poem when life had me down and the weather seemed to amplify the sentiments. With this rainbow last week, on a particularly warm November day, I was remembering what is important in my life if I am to live it to the fullest even on the darkest days.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog.
I leave you with a few additional words about Surrendering to the Light. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2018. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
As I was contemplating recent readings, the term Wild Child came up and this poem poured forth. It is autobiographical, and it is a song to all of us who are working on our inner selves. I offer it to all who are called or feel like a ‘wild child’ as I move into my 61st year.
And yes those pictures are of me when I was about 8 or 9 years old. Both pictures hold very fond memories, as I loved to swim, and go fishing. That was the first big fish I caught, a lake perch.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog.
I leave you with a few additional words about The Wild Child. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2018. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
To speak your name~well rant it for a good, almost, 10 minutes.
You shook me upside down when I heard you speak. And rung my emotional bell until it hurt from my head to my belly.
But you had to come, you had to speak, Truth. And I am so happy you did.
Although next time can you add a dollop of love with your words so they don’t leave me too splayed upon the ground when you are done talking.
Yes I am glad you came and spoke, Truth, through me, from me down to my very soul.
Truth can set you free they say. It turned me inside out and landed me on my ass. But I had that coming. After all I kept you at bay for far too long, Dear Truth!
I am bringing you another epistolary poem from a letter I wrote in April of 2016. This one was freeing to write. It seems when I hold back from speaking up, the truth backs up until it bursts free. I am learning to speak up more and more especially these days. And especially to those who feel free to lie as a matter of course.
With the #enoughisenough movement, Truth is a friend to many again and speaking loudly through thousands, finally!
The pictures are of a witchball; a gift given to me by a dear friend. Historically, witchballs were hung in windows to ward off ill fortune and bad spirits.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog.
I leave you with a few additional words about Dear Truth. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2018. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
Even with the vernal equinox coming this week in the northern hemisphere, the first day of spring never quite arrives according to the calendar. It shows up when it is good and ready…each year a different date. And this year winter is unrelenting, and March seems to be the new February, with cold and almost 4 feet of new snow in the first two weeks. Now we are frigid again with snow piles everywhere….no spring thaw in sight for weeks perhaps. So as I wait, I am thinking about what I am yearning for when spring finally does show itself in earnest.
The pictures are of native Bloodroot from my garden. They are one of the first native flowers blooming. You have to watch for their blooms, and savor them while you can, as they fade fast.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog.
I leave you with a few additional words about the Yearnings of Spring. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2018. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
This poem has been rattling around in my soul waiting to break free as my anguish with each horrific day goes by with more lies, more acts of violence, hatred, bigotry and on and on with hate. And so many still stay silent as words and acts by our government bring us daily to new lows.
The irony of this poem’s opening is purposeful. They are the opening lines of the Miranda Warning said to all who are arrested. And who knows if our acts of resistance will get us arrested, but I have hope we will overcome the insanity and fear. So this poem is my rant to those who are still silent, as I give my voice to those trying to change the dialogue, and not allowing my silence to condone any more of this insanity.
The pictures are more goddess selfies I created last year.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog, and I am joining Sherry for her Thursday prompt at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads; Being The Change.
I leave you with a few additional words about You have the right. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2018. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
I was recently inspired to speak out again about the most basic hypocrisies in our world and country…..judging others and the erosion of truth. I wrote this poem in response to all the trolling and name calling. Calling out the trolls and calling for a resurgence of sanity, values and the ‘real’ truth.
These pictures are selfies I created earlier this year when I was taking a course in how to creatively us photography phone apps.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog.
I leave you with a few additional words about Judge Me. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2017. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
This poem came streaming out of me after I finally let go of my fears and attended a writer’s conference. I knew this was going to be a big step towards fulfilling my destiny, and that once I entered, and crossed the threshold, there was no turning back!
The pictures here are hummers visiting the garden this year…they represent pure bliss and joy!
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up, Poetry Pantry, for poets who blog.
I leave you with a few additional words about taking back a life. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2017. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
This is the third poem I wrote when my Aunt Mary died recently (July 3rd). She was laid to rest this past week, and the grief was back. Loss is so difficult to deal with, but I have learned that I just need to allow the emotions to flow. And grief always seems to come at me in waves. I am doing better these days so perhaps some peace is coming. You can read my tribute post to my aunt on my other blog.
I am joining Poets Unitedfor their Poetry Pantry linkup.
I leave you with a another image about loss. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2017. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
This poem is a remembrance for my Aunt Mary who passed away July 3rd. A dear friend said to me that dwelling on missing her would only bring sadness and depression….but celebrating her light would bring me solace and peace. I liked that idea and this poem came to me the next day. You can read my tribute post to my aunt here.
I am joining Poets Unitedfor their Poetry Pantry linkup. July 12th was my 3rd blog anniversary….what an amazing 3 years of creativity it has been.
The picture at the top is of my Aunt Mary with a few sweet peas, snapdragons and lavender. The vase below is more of these same sweet flowers.
I leave you with a another image about an extra-ordinary life. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2017. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
“Today I began to criticize myself and look at myself with a judgmental eye… but then instead of going all out in that direction, I stopped and I began to understand me. And then I began to be patient with me. And then I began to feel a softness in the middle of my chest. So then I concluded that I can understand and be patient with me, just like how I am always understanding and being patient with everyone else. Why? Because I deserve that, and more.”
~ C. JoyBell C.
Recently I was able to participate in two online courses about self-compassion. Even though I felt that I had made great strides in this area, when both of these courses almost simultaneously hit my Inbox, I thought I would explore this topic a bit more.
Surprisingly at first, I encountered all sorts of resistance within. But this only confirmed, I needed more work on self-compassion, and I knew I was going to learn more about this very important topic. As the above quote says we deserve understanding, patience and above all else love. And not from outside ourselves….no we must seek that love inside first.
In life we all face circumstances that are difficult to handle…challenges like the death or illness of a loved one….pressures at work or of losing a job. Busy schedules where we try to juggle more than is humanly possible. And with these trials, we also find failure. All of these can seem to happen at once until we fall into a heap thinking we can’t handle much more.
And what I have discovered in these impossible moments, is that I need to turn inward, and tap into my hidden reserves. What powers these reserves, and allows us to survive? Quite simply it is love. Not just love from others, but love of ourselves….really the most important gift we can give to ourselves and others. For when we love ourselves, the tribulations of life can seem to melt away, and our capacity to love others increases tenfold.
One of the most important things we can do when building our self-compassion, is to identify the barriers to love we have created. For me the need for perfection used to bog me down. Starting from childhood, and on into my adult life, I would berate myself for making, what I viewed as, stupid errors. I have had a long history of putting myself down that was perpetuated by some well meaning adults and teachers who continually pointed out my mistakes.
Changing an answer on a final that resulted in a grade of 98 instead of 100% would put me in a tailspin where I would call myself ‘stupid’, say ‘how I knew better’…’what was wrong with me’…and causing me to obsess on this mistake for months. Nothing was acceptable to me but perfection.
And there were other thoughts and emotions that built up barriers causing more negative talk. The list can be endless: resistance, worry, fear, self-doubt, procrastination and frustration to name a few that have plagued me. I have worked hard over the past 5 years or so to break through these self-imposed barriers.
What did I do? It really is quite simple, and a bit brave, if I say so myself. I recognize these moments where I engage in negative self-talk, and I stay in the moment with them….I feel them, where they reside in my body, and then I give myself a bit of self-love. I tell myself, out loud usually, ‘I am doing the best that I can in this moment’. Then I recognize that indeed I am doing my best….and I let go of the emotions tying me down.
Sometimes when I would rush and drop things or make a mess, I would look at why this was happening….and again this would require me to stop, focus and be in the moment. It became easily apparent, that I was rushing because of time constraints or wanting to finish…. so I would tell myself to take it slow and be in the moment more. And when I slowed, and focused, I would enjoy the task.
Each time I focused and stayed in the moment I sensed an easing of these negative emotions and self-talk. There are many practices to help with this process, and I have learned some new techniques, from the courses I took recently. I highly recommend Open Your Heart To You from Sandra@Always Well Within, and Self-Compassion taught by Kristin Neff & Brené Brown@Courageworks. Check these courses out to see when they will be offered again.
We can easily turn our self-doubt around, and embrace our own inner love. We just have to have a little courage to stay in the moment, and break through any barriers we have encased around our own hearts. And you can start by smiling at yourself a bit more, and realizing that you deserve love too. Speak to yourself as you would a good friend…..you wouldn’t berate them, right? Give yourself a few words of encouragement by being your own best friend…..you will be amazed at what that self-compassion can do for you!
How do you give yourself the love and compassion you need and deserve?
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Special Note:The pictures here are of different purple irises that bloomed in my garden this spring. In the Language of Flowers, they symbolize ‘Compliments to you’. I can’t think of a better way to express self-compassion.
I leave you with a few additional words self-compassion. I welcome you to download this photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2016. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
I love the perseverance and resilience that seeds and plants show as they bust through any barrier to grow. This poem was written in response to this and how I feel as I heal and grow, create and expand my life.
And as I think about seeds, I think of the strong influences in my life. One being my Aunt Mary who is 93 years old. Her story of courage and strength is being printed today. I wrote her memoir to add to the stories of women who helped in the fight during WWII; referred to as Rosie the Riveters. You can read Aunt Mary’s story and other Rosie’s stories to at the Rosie’s Daughters website.
And if you do like the story, please leave a comment at the end of the story. And don’t forget to read some of the other Rosie stories you will find on the website!
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog. Visit them to read some more wonderful verse.
If you enjoy reading this blog, I welcome you to share it with others. I enjoy spreading the blog love, and I appreciate all who come and read my blogs.
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Special Note: The pictures here are of our native swamp milkweed plant, Asclepias incarnata, sporting its seeds that will spread out across the land growing more of this beautiful plant that is an important nectar source for pollinators and an even more important larval host plant for the monarch butterfly.
I leave you with a few additional words about Being Like A Seed. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2015. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
If you have been reading my blog for a while, you might have noticed that I do write and group prose and poems around the same topic. And this poem is a culminating piece to my other posts where I have been contemplating about aging….my aging, my mom’s and big changes in life in general.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog. Visit them to read some more wonderful verse.
If you enjoy reading this blog, I welcome you to share it with others. I enjoy spreading the blog love, and I appreciate all who come and read my blogs.
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Special Note: The pictures here are of my mom at different stages of her life. The first picture, is the one I call “The Women”. My mom is in the center (at her engagement party), and is surrounded by her sisters on the left, and my dad’s mother and aunts on the right.
In the collage you can see her when she is near 60 (around my age) with my dad, as a three year old with her sisters, and then as a high school graduate. The picture at the bottom is when she was about 9 yrs old at her First Communion.
I leave you with a few words additional words about aging. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2015. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown
I have lived my life with many scars. Those visible childhood scars from when I fell off my bike. Or the time my hand went through the plate-glass storm door…ouch and long story. And then my first serious car accident where I hit the steering wheel (before seat belts-yes I am that old), and my teeth went through my chin…lots of stitches.
And there are the not so visible scars…I don’t mean the ones from surgery….mine from last year is still healing nicely, thanks for asking. No, I mean those scars we hide inside. When we were deeply hurt for the first time. Mine was a Kindergarten teacher on my first day in a new school and she crushed my spirit...a scar that stayed with me, unseen even by me until a few years ago. When it came bubbling up to the surface, I realized that this scar had led to some self-defeating ideas I had been harboring for almost 50 years. WOW!
And the scars that built on that first one….the stories I believed about how I was not artistic, or creative, and yes Mr. Driver’s Ed teacher who said I would never learn to drive. OK there are some who may have agreed with him (and secretly still do). And my thesis team…those professors I had to convince I was worthy of passing by successfully defending my Master’s thesis….those who took pride and pleasure in trying to make me look not so smart or accomplished.
Yes, I could go on with the ruminations from when I started work….it is an endless reel of tape that sometimes plays in my head. But at some point these scars tend to heal over only opening again when someone close to me, personally or professionally, would say something nasty. And over the years I built up a thick skin around those scars so as not to feel them there.
But they are there. I even built a high wall from all the bricks thrown at me over the years. In fact, the wall became so high I began to feel suffocated, claustrophobic and isolated. So I finally burst through the wall. And instead of viewing my scars as something to keep hidden, I have brought them out to the light of day where I can see them, and they can heal.
I now view my scars as gifts….gifts that have led me down my path…the path where I am meant to go. They are my strength. They showcase my resilience. And I am darn proud of them. Sometimes I write about my scars here….it helps me to heal them, and sometimes it helps others. I am not depressed or upset about them or the lessons they are teaching me….actually it makes me happier when I can talk about them, and then let them go.
So you see I really do love my scars. Those that show the physical or emotional pain of my life….they are me…an important part of me. They help me to continue to embrace my vulnerabilities. Without them, I would never have been able to truly love my whole self, scars and all. They have become a kind of Superpower that assures me that whatever is happening, I will have the strength to get through it.
I am still figuring out the “get through it” part. For me, it is like putting on a soothing balm to heal the wounds and scars. But it is an individual journey…we all process let downs, disappointments, and grief in our own unique way. Sometimes I surrender and let go….sometimes I decide to walk away and not engage….and sometimes I fight head-on into the fire coming out a little scraped and bruised, but again wiser, stronger, and oh so much happier.
Note:In the Language of Flowers, daffodils represent self-love. And I chose white daffodils, as white represents light, goodness and safety.
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I leave you with another thought about self-love. Feel free to download this photo and share.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2015. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
I wrote this poem as I was contemplating mid-life and mortality. As I watch my mother age and lose more of her independence mortality comes painfully close. So I continue to cling tightly to life and living my life to its fullest. And I find my greatest strength, solace and inspiration in my own garden….my garden of life.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog. Visit them to read some more wonderful verse.
If you enjoy reading this blog, I welcome you to share it with others. I enjoy spreading the blog love, and I appreciate all who come and read my blogs.
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Special Note: The echinacea that grows in my garden of life (pictured here) represents strength.
I leave you with a few words about feeling reborn.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2015. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
I have these inner dialogues with myself sometimes when I am hurting, depressed or going through some unpleasant strong emotions. Recently with my mom’s illness and weakening, some of these darker moods have shown up again to be heard. And so the inner dialogue continues as I move through them. For me, I know I must lean into these times of shadow, in order to move back out into the light.
I am joining in with Poets Unitedfor their weekly poetry link up for poets who blog. Visit them to read some more wonderful verse.
If you enjoy reading this blog, I welcome you to share it with others. I enjoy spreading the blog love, and I appreciate all who come and read my blogs.
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Special Note: The thyme plant and flowers pictured here represent courage and strength.
I leave you with a few additional words about strength, courage and finding the better path. I welcome you to download the photo and share it.
All other photos and original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014-2015. Any reprints or use of other photos or content is by permission only.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Brené Brown
The day my father died, I closed up my heart, shut out the world and the light….and plunged into darkness. I was 40, had just been married (my dad could not attend due to his health), and now a pain, a loss too great to bear, had seared my heart.
But this covering up of my light actually happened 15 years before his death. The day the doctors told us that our father had Alzheimer’s started me down that path of darkness. And I could not bear to talk about it. And who would or could talk to me? Not my family. If we didn’t speak about it, then maybe it would go away. So we never did speak. We still have not spoken about any of this even 16 years after his death, that is how painful it is to each of us.
I said my goodbyes six months before he died, when hospice was called in. I flew from NY to AZ numb, so much uncertainty I just could not bear it. We did not know how much time he had left so I wanted to see him even though he did not know who I was. Do you have any idea how rip-out-your-heart awful it is to have your father not know you? Not be able to talk to you even though he is sitting right in front of you. It is a special kind of torture. But that last time I spoke to him, he seemed to know me for just a minute or two…you could see the cloud lift from his eyes and the sparkle of life return. I told him of the upcoming wedding, and he answered that was good…..which was code for I am glad you have finally found someone special. And while his moment of recognition buoyed me, soon after I was plunged into a deep despair again knowing he would not be with me on my wedding day.
These deep rooted agonizing feelings have been with me too long now. I have built up great pain avoidance so as not to deal with them…keeping them at arm’s length. And with so much pain avoided, there was a lot of time wasted in my life. Time where I just existed, but did not really live. You see when I shut myself up, I avoided the world and all other feelings. And that included joy, especially joy. And while this is all natural you may say, I think it is the worst thing I could have done….because once started it is hard to stop the avoidance.
But even though the road has been slow and it took 16 years to work through, I have learned from these dark times. I don’t avoid pain anymore. Instead I embrace the pain and other discomforting feelings because they are an important part of me, and must be dealt with. They do not go away if we avoid them. They stay like a fog blocking the light from every part of our life. And I have to say, I was pretty darned tired of the darkness surrounding my heart. The high walls and shields built around me.
I no longer run from these vulnerabilities as they are sometimes called. Please don’t call them weaknesses….being vulnerable is not being weak. Being vulnerable is allowing your strength and courage to shine through as you embrace your weaknesses, your pain and sorrow. Vulnerability is facing pieces of life that cannot be cast aside. So how did I face mine. I learned how to identify my comforts…what brought me to calm. I learned to play more. But I think my breakthrough came when I got to know my Superpower. What is a Superpower, you ask?
In a course I took about vulnerability from Brené Brown, we were taught to look for this Superpower; our higher purpose, that which inspires us. This was a life changer for me because now I could identify where my life flowed from…where my center could be found. I found my Superpower was and is communication. And this blog is part of that Superpower. It all clicked for me one day, and I knew where I needed to head next in my life. Where I had found my greatest joys previously when I was connected to this center….writing! So now I write as therapy. I write to stay in touch with feelings, good and bad. I write to plumb the depths of my despair so I can shine a light on it finally…for when the light is there, darkness cannot stay.
And while the pain is still great when I think of my dad’s disease and death, I can talk about it now. I hope to write about it in greater detail one day. Without the darkness, my heart is open. And life is renewed. I am still feeling my way along the path as it is a bit rocky some days, but now I am walking down the road of life again. Embracing all the uncertainties, seeking out those things I previously hid from…those vulnerabilities that now bring me the greatest joys in my life.
Note: The Hepatica here represents Confidence in the Language of Flowers.
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I leave you with another thought about vulnerability and strength. Feel free to download the photo and share.
All original content is copyrighted and the sole property of Donna Donabella @ Living From Happiness, 2014. Any reprints or use of content or photos is by permission only.