I have been restless these days. I am not sure what is behind it all. Perhaps the fact that spring and summer flew by without me being engaged in the these critical months. Months I crave for time in the garden and renewal. But alas they are gone…and fall is quickly blowing through. Soon it too will be no more, and I find the abyss of winter daunting.
This cold, frozen season will bury us under her canopy of white…frigid winds howling daily seeping into every crack and crevice . Frost covering everything like an ice palace. And while I love the slow, healing time of winter, I loathe its lingering. It finds us in November, usually, and stays until late March and many times not leaving until April.
I am tied to the land here. It is hard to explain, but every spring I am filled with a deep hunger to start again. Plant new seeds and watch them magically grow as if I have given them life. I can plant seeds in winter and grow them under lights, but that artificial light is not enough for them or me. I long for the warm sun to bathe my skin and give life to the soil once more.
I have projects lined up to sustain me for the four to six months of winter’s exile. Exercise and creative pursuits like drawing, designing and writing. But there is something I am hungering for…it is a deep longing I cannot yet put into words. Something is coming, born on the wind that blows through my life. The seeds planted now to wait through this long, agonizing winter to come.
And though I have no words to describe it yet, it is there none-the-less. I wait, I pine, I plan, I prepare. It will be here soon. And will I be ready…can I ever be. I will embrace the challenge and change that waits for me with trepidation and joy. I can almost see it as the fog lifts and is burned off by the bright light of the sun waiting to show the world what will be.
So now I hunger for this change. A soulful longing brought forth finally. Something I must touch, I must do, I must see. It is an absolute yearning that I will put every fiber of my being into until I lay, prostrate exhausted unable to move any muscle. It is deep inside me needing to be voiced, to be seen.
Have you ever had this hunger? If you have, then you know it and I need not describe it for you any further. If you have never hungered like this, then I cannot describe it further for you as it will make no sense until you feel the deep pull inside you. But oh if you hunger as I do right now, grab hold of it and ride that howling wind for all its worth. I know you will not regret one moment of being pulled, whipped and blown about as it finally lights upon the new green growth ready to unfold. Reborn, newborn a passionate hunger attained.
Note: The rudbeckias here represent Encouragement, Motivation in the Language of Flowers.
I leave you with another thought about motivation and hunger. Feel free to download the photo and share.
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